What did Gossip Girl wear this week? One outfit for the entire episode.

If you’ve stuck with GG this long, you’ve probably learned to embrace its wildly implausible time lines. We can all agree that an awesome amount of shit went down in the time between Eric setting the table for dinner and the van der Woodsen’s actually sitting down to eat dinner. The downside is that everyone spent the whole episode in one outfit. Except for Serena, still passed out in her ballgown two weeks later.

She wakes up in a periwinkle bed that matches her periwinkle dress and it’s very cold and nightmarish.

I love Serena because the very first thing she says to the 911 operator is “My name is Serena van der Woodsen.”

Meanwhile, Blair is wearing the most “Thanksgiving!!!” dress she can find — even though she plans on spending the day on a plane— and ordering flower arrangements and pies to match.

Chuck is wearing the Chuck-version of Blair’s dress. Of the many things that will always link Chuck and Blair to each other, an affinity for theatrical, apropos outfits is high on the list.

Like Chuck, Jenny is wearing a Thanksgiving version of the one outfit she wears every single day. and like everyone else, her interpretation of Thanksgiving = plaid.

Serena, where are your sequins? Where are your miniskirts? Where is your cleavage rhombus? You must be truly worried now, and not just about your “academic career.” I would be worried too if there were another person in my body who went around kissing everyone, getting drugs, renting cheap motel rooms in Queens, and wearing my sequins.

She and Dan look very cute in their matching, olive-colored tops, though. In Gossip Girl world, the best way to say, “I’m on your side,” is by coordinating your outfit. Just ask Blair’s minions.

Everyone is wearing somber colors and discussing the severity of Serena’s new drug problem, except for Vanessa. Ever the odd man out, Vanessa shows up to an empty table while everyone else is at the hospital, wearing neon rainbow Navajo print.

Hippies like Vanessa LOVE to bring up the Native Americans on Thanksgiving. Today Vanessa is more than just a class warrior who criticizes everyone’s excess of wealth and moral bankruptcy. Blair, Nate and Serena’s families came over on the Mayflower and Vanessa is probably looking forward to holding them accountable for the GENOCIDE OF AN ENTIRE INDIGENOUS POPULATION.

But you know what? I do feel bad about the Native Americans. And I served a tofurky this Thanksgiving. And I think Vanessa’s jacket is really cool.

Vanessa is perennially dumped on and excluded, but tonight there is one even odder man out.

Juliet wears this tight-fitting, backless black dress while she hangs around her apartment, on thanksgiving, by herself. That would be enough to make anyone wonder if alienating your family, getting banished from your school, and sacrificing your fake relationship with Nate, wasn’t a great decision.